Stop Suffering

Last nigth I made a decision, i decided to cry till get tired. As well as widows spill their pain and sadness because of their mourning, I cried. And I did it convinced that it should be the last time I would cry for someone who never appreciates my feelings. As well as widows go with their dead men to the final resting place, I went with my memories to a remote place called forgetting to leave them there forever.

I have decided to stop suffering and head for the goal that is waiting for being aimed by me in somewhere. But I discovered that if I want to do it I have to change myself then, i will do it at any price. And if I want this change to be permanent I will need to know when my innocence and naivety were destroyed at all. To find out this, i need to rebuilt my own history. Perhaps, I find who took it them from me and exactly how they did it. Perhaps, i will discover if I had any responsability on it.

It's time for changing, but I also need to know accurately "what" and "how" I have to change. "why" and "what for" are already defined. I change because it needs to be done, i change to survive. I need to became a more sensible girl able to enjoy life without any complication.

Let's get down to it!! Let's rebuilt history now, tomorrow is too late.

To begin let's talk about men and my unusual way to mix me with them. The following list has names of men whom have played a very relevant role in my life. Of course, not all of them have been my lovers I haven't even kissed some of them, but they were important in one way or another. Soon i will describe how was my relationship with them. That is part of the process...!!

1. Papi, my oldest brother, the most loved
2. Nene, my youngest brother, the authority
3. Scooby, the most recent
4. Tuti, my life's love
5. Coco, my first love
6. Howard, who caused me a night of insomnia
7. Darious, the non-sense choice
8. El perrito, who literally destroyed my world
9. El santo, my supposed best friend who married my supposed best girlfriend
10. Bill Gates, my platonic loveel amor platonico
11. El flaco, who almost killed me
12. Lorenzo, who loved me so much as his best friend
13. Chito, the first of chain of a chain of erros
14. El infantil, who knew exactly how obtain for me that he wanted (unfortunately it was never sex)
15. Ojitos, who never knew what he wanted
16. El subdito, just desire
17. F. Lay, who could be more than a friend but never it was (we tryed, never worked)
18. Flavio, cute foreign
19. El profeta, who used to wrote me love letter, but finally got married with another girl
20. Chayanne, my first love best friend

Let me explain that not all of those guys were my lovers, I didn't even kiss some of them, with some I just had some fun (Of course, it doesn't mean sex) but they are parte of my history...

Let get into the history and stop suffering...!!