Happiness for ones it's sadness for others

My heart is bleeding. Today my platonic love - Scooby, the man who makes my hearth beat faster has left the country, perhaps I won't see him anymore but rigth now I just have a picture in my head: His shiny smile.

When we met last nigth for chance - really it wasn't, because i already knew he was in the school party - I was aware that nothing special would happen between us, (though my soul retained the illusion that at least we could hug that was just an illusion, a fantasy, a hope) something inside me was shaking.

I was plenty of emotions, filled up of sensations which were making me live a dream and nigthmare at the same time. I was happy because finally i could see him after eight weeks but also this would be the last time.

As soon as I arrived at the party i looked for my teacher who was waiting for me, i just looked around to see if i found someone known. I didnt wear my glasses but i inmediatly knew he was there. My heart jump as if it was tryng to reach the moon. My breath became heavier.

For a while i couldn't even think, I was completly frozen.Finally, i decided to aproach him. I said Hello, and as He never did before he gave me two kisses on the cheeks as some european people use to do. I was excited but I felt i died. We had few words nothing deep, nothing important.

After drink one beer and he met some of his friends I asked him to make me a promise "I want you keep on touch" - I said - and he replied with a big smile in his face "I think we can do that".Maybe ten minutes later, because i was confused about the time of his flight I said to him "Good bye, and good luck". He explained that was a misundertanding, he wasn't leaving the party at that time and maybe we could have some words later, he would be around. That was the last time we talked to each other. This is the last memory i have about him.

I danced a pair of songs, then i left the party and went home. It was by 10, very early in my opinion. When i got home, i went straight to bed. I didn't want to talk to someone, so i did. I slept just four hours.

I woke up about 3 am. and after i couldnt go sleep back.During four hours i was thinking of how much happy was Scooby, and how my deep sadness was being caused by his happiness. Oh my God, the las time i saw him smiling in that way was the first time we went for a walk at the beach. Now, after many weeks living in the hell (as he describes the situation with out his family) he was happy, much happier than ever while i was trying to survive my own pain.

The day has been sunny but i havent been able to see the sun, i hope tomorrow i can do it maybe i will feel better. I was the whole night refusing myself to cry, but now my eyes are full of tears....

I swim inmerse in a pool of feelings, my own mixed emotions, what is a reason for him to be happy is causing me the deepest sadness... It is ironic, isnt?