First time i kept a diary i was 9.
It was just a few months after my oldest brother's death, the firts time i experienced abandonment in my life
So writing was for me the better way to cure myself . It was like having a soft hand taking care of my wounds, when everybody at home was trying to overcome this situation, the big brother, the dearest one had left and there is no oportunity to see him again, y mother was lost, my sisters too and my brother who was servind as a missionary in a christian church was facing his faith's doubt.
My family was completely destroyed, everything had changed and i wouldnt see my family again as i knew it once. That was my first time as a writer, the most painful but not the last.
But writing was also a reason to be in problem, one day i started reading the pages i had already writing on, oh my God i just found paragraphs plenty of hatress, pain, and sorrow. It had been too much for a 9-years-old child. i couldnt believe it, so i was ashamed of myself. Therefore i decided to burn my dairy and i did, but unfortunatly the stupid diary didnt burn at all and some else found it, suddenly my darkness and deepest secrets were now on someone else hands.
The experience of having some one on my neck all the time was very unpleasant for me, she blackmailed me even emotionally, i hated myself for push (with no intention) me into this situation and i hated writing.... after that, i stopped doing it but sadly as a consecuence, i became a prisioner of myself, of my thoughts, of my feelings because ecah time i tried to write again to be free i was just scared of someone reading my soul and taking advantage of it. So each time i tried to write again i simply gave up.
But today i have a huge necesity of fly through a clear blue sky, i need my wings again, release my soul, to be released from my feelings, let them go away and then being in peace with myself as i used to be when i was 9.
That is the reason i chose a blog, to expose my naked soul whit no fear, if i reveal my secrets by myself there is nothing to hide and so if you are reading this page it is mean you are a gossip person who doesnt have any other way of wasting time (in which case, i envy you for being lucky) or maybe because you have receipt my personal invitation to come in my live and discover who really i am.
My stories dont have any chonologih order so, just enjoy them and don't try to link any of them. i will write as i feel, remember this is just a window for someone to have a look in my life. don't expect i only write about one topic so you won't be disappointed in the future. some times i will write about sex, faith, religion, politic, personal, experiences, thoughts, emotions, relationships, some else's story or just i will share a funny anecdoct.
Thanks to my friends whom have motivated to write again, to my beautiful blonde teacher who always enjoy my writen and has hardly encorauged me to write in english and to everybody who has poping in my life to
make each experience worth so much, i am pretty sure you will recongnise your contribution even if i never mention your name. you know as every important writer on the world who write about real life i have to protect your identity to avoid put you into any problem.
From today my life is a story that can be read like a open book. don't be afraid of your comments as well as you, they are all welcome
It was just a few months after my oldest brother's death, the firts time i experienced abandonment in my life
So writing was for me the better way to cure myself . It was like having a soft hand taking care of my wounds, when everybody at home was trying to overcome this situation, the big brother, the dearest one had left and there is no oportunity to see him again, y mother was lost, my sisters too and my brother who was servind as a missionary in a christian church was facing his faith's doubt.
My family was completely destroyed, everything had changed and i wouldnt see my family again as i knew it once. That was my first time as a writer, the most painful but not the last.
But writing was also a reason to be in problem, one day i started reading the pages i had already writing on, oh my God i just found paragraphs plenty of hatress, pain, and sorrow. It had been too much for a 9-years-old child. i couldnt believe it, so i was ashamed of myself. Therefore i decided to burn my dairy and i did, but unfortunatly the stupid diary didnt burn at all and some else found it, suddenly my darkness and deepest secrets were now on someone else hands.
The experience of having some one on my neck all the time was very unpleasant for me, she blackmailed me even emotionally, i hated myself for push (with no intention) me into this situation and i hated writing.... after that, i stopped doing it but sadly as a consecuence, i became a prisioner of myself, of my thoughts, of my feelings because ecah time i tried to write again to be free i was just scared of someone reading my soul and taking advantage of it. So each time i tried to write again i simply gave up.
But today i have a huge necesity of fly through a clear blue sky, i need my wings again, release my soul, to be released from my feelings, let them go away and then being in peace with myself as i used to be when i was 9.
That is the reason i chose a blog, to expose my naked soul whit no fear, if i reveal my secrets by myself there is nothing to hide and so if you are reading this page it is mean you are a gossip person who doesnt have any other way of wasting time (in which case, i envy you for being lucky) or maybe because you have receipt my personal invitation to come in my live and discover who really i am.
My stories dont have any chonologih order so, just enjoy them and don't try to link any of them. i will write as i feel, remember this is just a window for someone to have a look in my life. don't expect i only write about one topic so you won't be disappointed in the future. some times i will write about sex, faith, religion, politic, personal, experiences, thoughts, emotions, relationships, some else's story or just i will share a funny anecdoct.
Thanks to my friends whom have motivated to write again, to my beautiful blonde teacher who always enjoy my writen and has hardly encorauged me to write in english and to everybody who has poping in my life to
make each experience worth so much, i am pretty sure you will recongnise your contribution even if i never mention your name. you know as every important writer on the world who write about real life i have to protect your identity to avoid put you into any problem.
From today my life is a story that can be read like a open book. don't be afraid of your comments as well as you, they are all welcome
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